When I look back at time, I felt feelings of sadness, happiness, and stuffs that can tickle my emotions..

I've regretted doing a few things, I've regretted it well. Now I'm trying to break free of this chain that's holding me back. I really think and think over and over again, I feel lost at times, confused, as if I just need someone to come and appear by my side to help me. To talk to me. To save me from this chain.

Something has to end this pain, I've it kept for a long long time, ever since the day I see love, I had no where to run, all I could give is a smile that is barely real. I rarely talk to my friends about my personal life, nobody knows me well. Nobody knows my inside, they just couldn't see it through.

I feel happy at times and sad when I'm alone. Although I've never come to the point of doing stupid things because I don't wanna hurt the people around me. I love them, every each one of them. Their my family. I treat them as well as my brothers, never the less, I felt they treated me the same.

When I think back again, never make a promise with someone, for if you do, don't think that the other party won't break that promise. Thus, if they really do, you'll end up fighting and you, who asked for that promise will get angry. Maybe for the first 2 times you'll feel like as if every thing's alright, but when the 3rd time comes, you let go all your anger to the other party in resulting, broken friendships.

I know, because I've tasted it before. I've tasted much more pain that I knew. I'm surprise that I still can bare with my own life living without any sufferings. No, it's not that, it's my surroundings. My family, my friends, they've been giving me the comfort I need. In times of sadness, there is always someone to go to. I love my life, although, sometimes it may suck until the extend of me asking myself questions like "Why am I alive?", "Why am I born in such pain?" But, I've never ever asked myself questions like "Why did God put me around humans which now are my friends?", "Why am I born in such a blessed home, with good friends and a perfect family?"

Come to think of it, everyone has their own story. Most of the time, they love to share it out, even if it's pain, it is always better to share it with someone, for at least you know, someone understands you. But, sometimes, that someone might just make a fool out of you and tell the whole world. Now that's the suckiest moment in life. It's called betrayal. Being betrayed, back stabbed by the one you once called friend. Someone that you trusted your hopes and pain on. Because of that someone, you feel like giving up. You feel like letting go all your worries and just kill yourself. But how come, people never think that they still have other friends around that they can trust. Why allow one miserable betrayal ruin your whole entire future? Amongst the happiness and joy given by your friends, you focus on how screw up life is because of that one small thing.

Never enough, never too far, never too near, love is one you would wanna seek. Everyone has this wish, they would always wish that love would seek them. But, those are just fantasies, those are just wishes not hopes. It'll never happen, as a female or a male, you still have to seek the one you love. The one you cherish and the one you would spend the rest of your life with for the better or the worst. Someone that you wouldn't mind eating apple with for the whole life, someone that you wouldn't mind suffering together with.

Honesty, that's the most important thing in every situation. Trust and honesty are brothers. where else lust and hate are their enemies. If you love that certain someone and he or she tells you that they love you too, that's something good, but, that doesn't mean that you found your true love. That might just be a decoy in life where you might think that it's the end of the world if you lose that certain someone. To love someone is to be honest with them, both parties trusting each other. And also, promises made must be fulfilled, never once to break a promise. For it will lead to more fights and in the end, broken relationships.

They always say, if you love someone, let her/him go. But, I can't do it, for me it's a joke. I mean what if she/he was really the one for you. You can't just allow fate to help you, you need to help yourself so that fate can support you. You don't ask them to love you, you make them love you. It's never fair, nothing is fair in life. God made it that way, for if everything is fair, we would all be dead in hell, because it's not fair that sinners like us are still alive. No man should be alive with sins. Today, if you think back, when you try to recall your memories, you see someone that you hated. How do you feel? You'll most likely think, "Why did I hate him so much last time?" And when you look at him today, you tell yourself "His a nice guy, how stupid can I be?" All this are part of life. The ups and downs.

Your life is already decided. But, there will always be obstacles blocking your way. There will always be decoys and painful times. You always go to your parents, seeking them for advise, but if they gave some advise that offended you a little, you feel insulted and start talking back with a loud voice. This are somethings that you will regret one day or another, this are the things that you would want to turn back time and correct your mistakes and fix the hole that you made. I've always wanted a second chance for lots of stuffs. I just wish I can get that second chance and change everything to make it better or maybe worst. I really want a second chance for everything I've regretted.

As conclusion, life is never perfect. Facing obstacles by obstacles are the biggest challenges in it. These ares the fact of life. For I've experience most of them before. I've tasted the bitter sweet of everything. But there are things I have yet seen and done. For now, I'm preserving every pride I have. Every time I smile, I'll be sure that I'm smiling for something and that something is sure sweet. Yes, I'm talking about her, I wouldn't know who she might be, but there's one thing I know. That is, I'm gonna love her to the very deep end of my heart, thinking back of whatever I've regretted and whatever I've suffered, I'll fix every hole I can, I'll protect it with my life, I'll protect her with my life. She's the one I will cherish for the rest of my life, I'll never forsake her, for if she loves me as much as I love her, I'll try to understand her feelings and emotions every time she's in need, I'll be there. For her, and only her. That's all..




*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
1:21 PM

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