When I look back at time, I felt feelings of sadness, happiness, and stuffs that can tickle my emotions..

I've regretted doing a few things, I've regretted it well. Now I'm trying to break free of this chain that's holding me back. I really think and think over and over again, I feel lost at times, confused, as if I just need someone to come and appear by my side to help me. To talk to me. To save me from this chain.

Something has to end this pain, I've it kept for a long long time, ever since the day I see love, I had no where to run, all I could give is a smile that is barely real. I rarely talk to my friends about my personal life, nobody knows me well. Nobody knows my inside, they just couldn't see it through.

I feel happy at times and sad when I'm alone. Although I've never come to the point of doing stupid things because I don't wanna hurt the people around me. I love them, every each one of them. Their my family. I treat them as well as my brothers, never the less, I felt they treated me the same.

When I think back again, never make a promise with someone, for if you do, don't think that the other party won't break that promise. Thus, if they really do, you'll end up fighting and you, who asked for that promise will get angry. Maybe for the first 2 times you'll feel like as if every thing's alright, but when the 3rd time comes, you let go all your anger to the other party in resulting, broken friendships.

I know, because I've tasted it before. I've tasted much more pain that I knew. I'm surprise that I still can bare with my own life living without any sufferings. No, it's not that, it's my surroundings. My family, my friends, they've been giving me the comfort I need. In times of sadness, there is always someone to go to. I love my life, although, sometimes it may suck until the extend of me asking myself questions like "Why am I alive?", "Why am I born in such pain?" But, I've never ever asked myself questions like "Why did God put me around humans which now are my friends?", "Why am I born in such a blessed home, with good friends and a perfect family?"

Come to think of it, everyone has their own story. Most of the time, they love to share it out, even if it's pain, it is always better to share it with someone, for at least you know, someone understands you. But, sometimes, that someone might just make a fool out of you and tell the whole world. Now that's the suckiest moment in life. It's called betrayal. Being betrayed, back stabbed by the one you once called friend. Someone that you trusted your hopes and pain on. Because of that someone, you feel like giving up. You feel like letting go all your worries and just kill yourself. But how come, people never think that they still have other friends around that they can trust. Why allow one miserable betrayal ruin your whole entire future? Amongst the happiness and joy given by your friends, you focus on how screw up life is because of that one small thing.

Never enough, never too far, never too near, love is one you would wanna seek. Everyone has this wish, they would always wish that love would seek them. But, those are just fantasies, those are just wishes not hopes. It'll never happen, as a female or a male, you still have to seek the one you love. The one you cherish and the one you would spend the rest of your life with for the better or the worst. Someone that you wouldn't mind eating apple with for the whole life, someone that you wouldn't mind suffering together with.

Honesty, that's the most important thing in every situation. Trust and honesty are brothers. where else lust and hate are their enemies. If you love that certain someone and he or she tells you that they love you too, that's something good, but, that doesn't mean that you found your true love. That might just be a decoy in life where you might think that it's the end of the world if you lose that certain someone. To love someone is to be honest with them, both parties trusting each other. And also, promises made must be fulfilled, never once to break a promise. For it will lead to more fights and in the end, broken relationships.

They always say, if you love someone, let her/him go. But, I can't do it, for me it's a joke. I mean what if she/he was really the one for you. You can't just allow fate to help you, you need to help yourself so that fate can support you. You don't ask them to love you, you make them love you. It's never fair, nothing is fair in life. God made it that way, for if everything is fair, we would all be dead in hell, because it's not fair that sinners like us are still alive. No man should be alive with sins. Today, if you think back, when you try to recall your memories, you see someone that you hated. How do you feel? You'll most likely think, "Why did I hate him so much last time?" And when you look at him today, you tell yourself "His a nice guy, how stupid can I be?" All this are part of life. The ups and downs.

Your life is already decided. But, there will always be obstacles blocking your way. There will always be decoys and painful times. You always go to your parents, seeking them for advise, but if they gave some advise that offended you a little, you feel insulted and start talking back with a loud voice. This are somethings that you will regret one day or another, this are the things that you would want to turn back time and correct your mistakes and fix the hole that you made. I've always wanted a second chance for lots of stuffs. I just wish I can get that second chance and change everything to make it better or maybe worst. I really want a second chance for everything I've regretted.

As conclusion, life is never perfect. Facing obstacles by obstacles are the biggest challenges in it. These ares the fact of life. For I've experience most of them before. I've tasted the bitter sweet of everything. But there are things I have yet seen and done. For now, I'm preserving every pride I have. Every time I smile, I'll be sure that I'm smiling for something and that something is sure sweet. Yes, I'm talking about her, I wouldn't know who she might be, but there's one thing I know. That is, I'm gonna love her to the very deep end of my heart, thinking back of whatever I've regretted and whatever I've suffered, I'll fix every hole I can, I'll protect it with my life, I'll protect her with my life. She's the one I will cherish for the rest of my life, I'll never forsake her, for if she loves me as much as I love her, I'll try to understand her feelings and emotions every time she's in need, I'll be there. For her, and only her. That's all..




*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
1:21 PM

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okay, this is what happened today, bloody hell, went there for nuts.. ALL we did was arrange pants to it's size.. but as BBIANS.. we always will and CAN find things to entertain ourselves..

This is what I call FUN! XD


Erm, Size 26! Size 25.. :D


Wanna show the sad face also cannot, Lex must kacau.. You see la, Yoke Meng spoils the whole picture.. People trying to ACT also failed..

Guess what, I was looking at the sizes.. It gets smaller everytime i check! xD



If you notice the one in RED.. It says Size 6! haha.. ><
Leon holding the Size 6 in his hands.. >< style="font-weight: bold;">TIME TO GET SERIOUS!!~


Aiya.. Leon why laa.. No strength ahh, my box so big one hand cukup la.. :D *actually my box is empty xD* it doesn't look fake tho, except for Leon's big wide smile.. if only i he wiped that off >_>

As you all know, I'm in the Spastic Center.. So yeah, I took opportunity to take a picture with "THEM".. *they say it's not good to call "them" what they are so yeahh..*



Helping this soul to find his pans size.. His looking down and gloomy, Malaysians.. What are you doing out there!! Come and help this people.. :(

And when i was walking with the same guy, I found HIS FRIEND!!



See, they are all trying to survive :\


We're all trying to help..

"Make the world, A better place" :)



okay okay >< don't emo ah.. my frens xD ccy and cheah.. :P i'm just kidding haha..

this post is 80% crap.. dont worry, i never actually take pictures with any of them xP

:D






*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
11:35 AM

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Next, Izhar he came to our side and start cocking around.. xD


Izhar trying to be a salesman.. :\ Only God can help him.. >< Loh Kim Kiew our class sunway taiko :p



He wears very very tight pants.. OMG ! xD



HAHA OKAY LA OKAY!! THIS IS TOO MUCH!!

NOTHING TO COVER LA ACTUALLY!! PLAYING

AROUND ONLY XD




There you see!! Clean 'n' Clear! :D



After school, we were all bored, and it was raining.. So we took pictures! :D


Not clear, it was raining, and Kye Min was emo-ing.. Believe it or not.. He never will show that he is emo tho ><


Hmm.. Looking gay.. Under the rain.. Okay fine.. It's me and Najee.. xD


Romantic right? Under the rain somemore.. Nola, actually we were just so fucking bored ><

*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
11:16 AM

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now, here's what happen in class AFTER P.E.

Heard of Malaysian Top Models?

What about "Malaysian Hottest Guys?"

Those are old stories, today, I present you..

BB TOP MODEL!! (got balls to pose and let me take picture some more, they regret wei.. xP)


From left, Izhan, Fazlil, Fazli, Umair.. (IC Number : 90xxxx-xx-xxxx and so on..)


Trying to show muscle.. xD


Umair! Not having enough.. (psst, look at how Lex stares at him wei xD)


They say his future ambition is to be a Soldier.. I can see why now, look at the guy next to him, SHITTING in his pants already wei.. :P







*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
11:00 AM

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okay anything from here is just random posts, all this pics taken from last week or so.. haha, i'll basicly let the pictures do the talking la k ? :D


ANIRWAN checked, and it's a SHE!! XD (i wonder how he checked ;))


aww isn't she cute? :\ ganas wei.. she bites xD haha, she got stuck la in Astaka field there.. i forgot who spotted it d, but anyways we helped her..

*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
10:20 AM

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okay okay.. sorry guys.. long time never update. ANIRWAN la, drag me for DOTA. -_-

haha, okay. put the blames aside.. i've something to share with you guys wei.. :D

i'm sure you all know the song Canon-In-D by Pachelbel right?


Canon-In-D by some idiot.. :P

There, memories refreshed ? Too bad if you like that song.. Here's a video for you to watch and laugh at ^^


If you think loading here too slow, try go www.youtube.com and search for "Pachelbel Rant" :)

LOL.. Not enough yet, you don't laugh first..

Now this is the best part.. haha.. sorry girls.. i know, you all like the show, FRIENDS.. but please laa, that song con ppl one :P


It is proven ;)


Haha, don't hate me.. I'm just enjoying the entertainment ^^

LOL.. peace people.. i've one more post to come, but, time won't let me. so yeah, next time la k?

RANDOMNESS:

Why do MOST of the guys love to wear Boxes, compared to underwear?

Lingesh: Because if you wear boxes, you have more space and it's more cooling, no?


K la, that's all.. nights ppl ^^


although time passed by, but i'll still never give up, all i want you to know, is that my love, for you is true..




*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
8:49 AM

sorry for the delay in this.. my bad.. no time to blog wehh xD hmm.. so, let's move on to taiwan sausages.. :D


Taiwan Sausage.. Looks good? Think again.. :P

Cheah Liat Sheng.. Trying to save the world.. He got challenged to eat the deadliest poison for the world.. and he accepted the challenge like a "man" (hah.. man.. xD)
(Cheah Liat Sheng.. the one who everyone thought "capable" of eating the sausage.. he was challenged for if he finishes he'll get RM5 from Leon and Kim Kiew.. well guess what..)

i'll let the pictures do the talking..

Before


Confident looking wise man..
(bastard smiling like an ass hole)


Sacrificing for the country with a smile.. Loyalty to King & COUNTRY.. wow.. A man to be honored..
(Sacrificing his own maruah.. buat bodo saje.. well never try never know.. a man to be laughed at..)

After


omg.. a sad story.. soldier cheah has died.. :( he failed to save the world..
[OMG!! MAN DOWN MAN DOWN!! HE GAVE UP ;) HE FAILED TO SAVE HIS ASS!]

and then we had to finish his remainders.. lol.. each of us took a bite.. and we were crying our nuts out ><

a little video on what happened :D (WARNING: USAGE OF LANGUAGE IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS IN THIS VIDEO!!) HINT HINT ^^



and guess what.. we found out that Lex is not good with spicy food.. so we tested him on ONE bite :P

here's the result xP



HAHA!! NEXT TO COME.. LINGESH AND YOKE MENG.. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEIR EGO-I-CAN-TAKE-IT FACES CHANGING TO SOME PUSSYFIED FACE xD

anybody not happy with this post can report to me on the cbox.. but i won't layan.. :D



*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
5:07 AM

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Speechless..



Sing together with my pain.. :)
After sometimes I've finally made up my mind
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere in find her again
To tell her I love her
And I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done
I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her weddingdress
But she's crying while she's saying this

* Boy I missed your kisses all the time but
This is twentyfive minutes too late
Though travelled so far
Boy I'm sorry you are
Twentyfive minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again
Wishing me back to time when we were more than friends
But I still see her in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her weddingdress
But she's cried while she was saying this

[Repeat *]

Out in the streets
Places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
Inside my head still I can hear the words she said

[Repeat * , *]

I can still hear her say





*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
6:37 PM

kk, this is what i'm talking about.. next week school starts again.. everyone woot with me!! :D

so yeah a little check LIST not box but LIST :P hmm let's see..

actually everything done.. but homework only left.. dont worry tomoro still can do..

tomoro won't happen :D

lol i'm actually crapping too much.. let's just all don't do our homework and die k BBIANS? :)

it's not like it's the first time.. quote

PN. Yuznizam "Ko tau kenapa Malaysia kalah bola?"
Murid "Tak tau.."
PN. Yuznizam "Sebab tak kamu semua tak siap kerja rumah laa"

haha.. wtf? kk.. that's for mod maths.. i'm already blacklisted.. i believe zai and rajiv has a lot of experience with MR MA.. hmm..

(during chem lesson)
Rajiv: rawrrr!!
Mr Ma: *teach teach teach*
Rajiv: rawrr!!!!!
Mr Ma: *teach teach teach*
Rajiv: RAWRR!!!!
Mr Ma: WHO SAID THAT!!
Rajiv: *stands up* me teacher
Mr Ma: you come out now
Rajiv: *walks to mr ma..*
Mr Ma: you dare you do it again..
Rajiv: *right infront of mr ma..* RAWRRR!!

and zai.. Mr Ma made him say a pledge for the whole year and he was such an ass hole wei xD

that's bbians for you ;)

Lex: Teacher.. It's not that you don't want me.. It's I DON'T WANT YOU!!

fwahh that time he said that to Pn Phua i thought he serious one.. see see he can laugh like ermm.. his normal laugh.. and say "jkjk" >.< >BBIANS!! TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELLLL!! :P

*prays for mercy* :)

psst.. you guys.. don't corrupt my virgin mind u know :) i'm a holy moly christian, and it should stay that way :P

shit this mosquito ahh...


waa.. it's not like i wanted it.. i really didn't wanted to do it.. oh well.. self defense is not murder..

:)



*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
10:17 AM

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another email :P but this i must show the world.. mommy or daddy who are reading this.. please DO check what your child writes.. >< *psst.. you can ENLARGE it by CLICKING on it :)





speechless :)

*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
9:53 AM

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You wanna resign but you don't know how to write a letter? You came to the right place.. Let me show you how.. :D

*psst. you can ENLARGE by CLICKING on it :)

A not formal one..



A little bit formal..



Damn formal..



OR MAYBE THIS ONE..



so what are you waiting for? copy any of them and send it to your boss straight :D

haha, i got this from my email.. :D lazy to send it to ALL hence i'll post it here :)




*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
9:42 AM

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As time passes, i've realised i've been silly, i don't know why, but this feeling just came.. i just wanna tell you i'm sorry.. :)


Richard Marx - Now and Forever.. This was the song, you asked me to listened to.. i remembered..

I'm sorry dear.. I really am.. I've been thinking about you the whole day.. I'm so so so so so sorry.. You've always been on my mind.. After I finished my History paper, i used my extra time to write some words to you on a paper.. Words that i've always wanting to say and prove how much i love you..

Look at this..

This is the paper that I wrote on, enlarge it.. I'm not bored.. I'm not lifeless, I'm just feeling sentimental at that time because of you.. :)

Let's look closer..


It says, I miss you, I love you.. What did I ever do to deserve you?


It says, After all this while, I pray that one day, you will understand my love for you, one day..


It says, Forever I hope you know my love for you is true. That's all I need you to know..


It says, You gave me hope, you gave me strength, you are always there when I'm down..


It says, You are always on my mind. Every morning I wake up, your face and your beautiful smile runs across my mind, thus, it made me feel brand new, all my worries in the past are now forgotten


It says, I am smiling because you made me. Every time I see you, I feel happy.. As if my burdens has been lifted up. You are the reason for me to love.


It says, My writing may be ugly but, my love for you is ever beautiful and everlasting. I'll never forget each and every moments, those sweet moments especially, every word you say. I remember it. I love you..

Every word is sincerely from the bottom of my heart.. I'm really sorry for hurting you at times, but i'm starting to appreciate you.. You're beautiful, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well.. You're like an angel to me.. I love you sweetie.. "Now and forever.." <3



*//you make me rise when i fall..\\*
3:23 AM

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